tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40365557440284076402024-03-05T14:06:48.234-06:00My Own WayAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04120940861984750887noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4036555744028407640.post-45916821480432890012012-09-27T21:52:00.000-05:002012-09-27T21:52:35.728-05:00Sorrow and JoyLife has this amazing way of taking the best laid plans and ripping them to shreds. It has been quite a long time since I posted and a lot has happened. July passed quickly in a haze of pain, nausea, and frustration. Pregnancy was not kind and my body revolted. The death of my childhood dog caused a sadness to fill me for days. August came quickly and with it lots of changes were brewing. Plans to move, a new job for my sweetheart, and the ever approaching date that baby would arrive.<br />
<br />
Then September hit like a wave. New apartment in a new town. A brand new job for my sweetheart with a new schedule. The discovery that my little once was in a breech position and would be delivered via c section unless he turned. A tooth abscess less than a week before the scheduled delivery.<br />
<br />
Then the hardest hits came rolling in. On September 9, my grandfather passed away. It still hurts to think about. He was so very excited about his first great grand baby and actually liked my boyfriend. Days before the little one's birth and he exited the world without ever meeting him. It hit like a ton of bricks. Numbness overwhelmed me and the tears flowed for hours.<br />
<br />
September 12, I checked in to the hospital for my c section. Tears still flowed at the thought that my grandfather would never be able to meet my baby. My baby was born and had the cord around his neck four times. He had a rough start and ended up being placed in the NICU. My heart broke and anxiety filled me. My parents stayed as long as they could after delivery before they had to leave for the funeral on the east coast. I was in the hospital for four days. After that my darling baby remained in the NICU for another week. I finally got to take him home on September 20 and I was overjoyed. <br />
<br />
A week later, I find myself anxious and often sad. After a visit with my doctor, he believes that I suffer from postpartum depression and anxiety. I admit that I feel embarrassed and ashamed even though I know it affects many women. I write about it now because I feel like I need to admit it even if it is only online to nameless faceless people. The doctor prescribed some medication and advised me on ways to cope with this.<br />
<br />
It feels like months since the death of my grandfather and the birth of my son. It feels like everything is moving in slow motion. I've learned a lot about myself and life the past few months. My heart has been broken and overjoyed. I've felt at ease and overwhelmingly anxious. It's amazing how fleeting life is and how suddenly everything can change. The universe cycles from death to life. With every pain, a joy springs forth. Sometimes it takes a while to see the joy and other times it appears straight away. <br />
<br />
As the weather cools and autumn begins to descend, I find myself reflecting on this strange year with all the trials and joys. From the cold winter and shock of being pregnant, to the joy of having a new baby boy and the sorrow of losing someone. I wonder what the rest of this year will bring.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04120940861984750887noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4036555744028407640.post-28301877567740698572012-06-25T11:52:00.002-05:002012-06-25T11:52:49.768-05:00This Old BirdhouseHello Again!<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">While I'm working on my next posts about the elements and how they relate to my goals, I thought I would do a nice relaxing summer post.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">When we first moved into our apartment,
on the balcony hung a dirty weather worn bird house. I'm not sure how
long it had hung there, but it was definitely an eye sore. I
climbed on a kitchen chair and took it down. The poor run down bird
house sat on the balcony in the far corner for almost a year now.</span><br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
While
cleaning the balcony, I thought about throwing it out, but I didn't feel like trekking all the way out to the dumpster. So, I decided that it would be a perfect time to
give it a makeover.<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">I cleaned off the dirt, dead bugs, and cobwebs. </span><br />
<br />
I wanted something bright to liven up the balcony, so I went with some of the same colours that I painted my flower pots with.<br />
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I had to come inside to finish it off. The humidity that day was getting to me and I really wanted the paint to dry.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrargMoVIt8OnAfVYATrsFK_a-wvxADBjnn-uezUCBpoEMLu_vQyYFQK4RIGxT9QpvU6_fQtXP2rjehQfCPLLs9V6X3Ts-_TnVEngiSPdiSYmNIFhiFgbuSprTRK1ytx7_4w-9ENrZJZH/s1600/DSC_0088.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrargMoVIt8OnAfVYATrsFK_a-wvxADBjnn-uezUCBpoEMLu_vQyYFQK4RIGxT9QpvU6_fQtXP2rjehQfCPLLs9V6X3Ts-_TnVEngiSPdiSYmNIFhiFgbuSprTRK1ytx7_4w-9ENrZJZH/s320/DSC_0088.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
I thought that it might be too bright in colour, but it looks great against the sky and the trees. I hoped that the birds would come to enjoy it. It took them about a week to really find it and use it regularly, but they have. It keeps little Charlie entertained during the day, but I have to watch out so she doesn't run into the door again.<br />
<br />
I hope everyone is enjoying the summer as much as I am. Do something creative and take some time to be outside.<br />
<br />
-FAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04120940861984750887noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4036555744028407640.post-20270506768065181932012-06-13T14:00:00.002-05:002012-06-13T14:00:33.831-05:00Health or Wellness?Hi Everyone!<br />
<br />
I have struggled for a while now
with my self-esteem during pregnancy. I know that weight gain is a
normal part of pregnancy, but I feel like I am becoming an unhealthy
whale and not beautiful. I also know that a lot of women suffer from low
self-esteem whether they are pregnant or not. I suffered from low
self-esteem before I was pregnant and worked hard to get to a point
where I
was at peace with how I felt I looked. I went for walks, watched my
weight, and made an effort to drop down to a comfortable place.<br />
<br />
When
I think about what I did to get to that place, I have to think to
myself, "Was I being healthy?" Years ago I worked out obsessively and
gave up my gym
membership at the advice of a mental health professional so that I
wouldn't go every day of the week for hours on end.<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">After
that, I let myself go for a while and felt miserable. I worked
on getting back to where I wanted <span class="hiddenGrammarError">to be</span> by walking and rollerblading. I
freely admit that sometimes I would forget to eat (food never really
interested me) or found it too difficult to eat. The difficulty came
from having to eat a gluten-free diet (not by choice, for medical
reasons), so it was hard to just grab something on the go. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">Nutrition
and fitness have always interested me, but now, I find myself wondering
what does it mean <span class="hiddenGrammarError">to be</span> healthy? Is there a difference between being
healthy and being well. What is wellness anyway?</span><br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">I
looked in many places for those answers. Although health and
wellness are words used interchangeably in society today, I feel like
they are two separate things. Reading the different definitions of
health and healthy, I think that it is best used to describe the
physical body although it at times can include the mind. Usually when
someone <span class="hiddenGrammarError">is viewed</span> as healthy they are free of disease, pain, and
injuries. Where wellness is the overall state of someone encompassing
all aspects of life and lifestyle including health. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">When
I started to look at my overall well-being instead of just my health, I
realized that I had gone about things all wrong. I was focusing
on one thing, weight, instead of <span class="hiddenSuggestion">the whole</span> picture. I was neglecting the
other parts of wellness and even my health. I realized it isn't good
for me to look at my weight gain during pregnancy as unhealthy as it is a
healthy and natural part of preparing for and nurturing the growing
child inside of me. I also realized that simply by recognizing my
feelings about gaining weight and the various body changes I am going
through is a step toward improving my overall wellness.</span><br />
<br />
After
these realizations, I decided that I was going to work on my wellness. I am working on creating several goals for my
wellness. I decided to break the goals down into 5 areas and place them
under headings that I recognized and felt connected with. I choose to
break them down into Earth, Air, Fire, Water, and Spirit as I have
worked spiritually with these elements and can relate to the aspects of
them.<br />
<br />
In coming posts, I plan on outlining what
these areas means in my journey of wellness and the different goals I
have associated with them. I hope you will join me on this journey.<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden"><span class="hiddenSpellError">-F</span> </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04120940861984750887noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4036555744028407640.post-43457745259497133222012-06-07T17:35:00.002-05:002012-06-07T17:35:11.261-05:00Gardening 101: How to Kill a Plant in 10 DaysHello Everyone!<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nRTf4QbVc6E/T9EqtsKZTAI/AAAAAAAAAN0/ca0INCazzfk/s1600/DSC_0075.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nRTf4QbVc6E/T9EqtsKZTAI/AAAAAAAAAN0/ca0INCazzfk/s320/DSC_0075.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: yellow;"></span></div>
<br />
So,
gardening is not something that I am instinctively drawn to. I'm about a
nurturing as a rock and terribly forgetful. But I thought, "How hard
could it be to keep a few plants alive? I keep Charlie alive, and she's a
cat." <br />
<br />
Apparently, plants are harder than cats...<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">It
began early spring when the weather was unseasonably warm during the
day. I thought that because it was relatively nice outside it would be
the perfect time to pot some plants. Without experience in this area I
failed to realize one key <span class="hiddenSuggestion">factor</span>, the weather here changes (rapidly). So
without this bit of knowledge, I set out to the garden store, purchased
plants and pots, and began my gardening journey.</span><br />
<br />
I
decorated my little pots in shades of blue, green, and purple. I planted
my 6 little plants with pride. How are they doing now? Well, there are
now 3 and half remaining.<br />
<br />
The first to go was the catnip. How do you kill catnip? Here's how:<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BiCeOjklTzg/T9Er_H9LAwI/AAAAAAAAAOA/jDXLYHwR00o/s1600/DSC_0055.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BiCeOjklTzg/T9Er_H9LAwI/AAAAAAAAAOA/jDXLYHwR00o/s320/DSC_0055.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I
soon realized that although the daytime was unseasonably warm at night
there was still a very strong chance of frost and cold temperatures. So,
I began packing up my little pots and bringing them in every night. I
was smart enough to know that with Charlie the cat around I would have
to place the plants in one of the few areas cat proof enough for them to
survive. The only suitable place was the top of some kitchen cupboards.<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">My
dear boyfriend would have to lift them up on top of the cupboards every
night and bring them down for me to water every day. After a few days
of this, both he and I <span class="hiddenGrammarError">were tired</span> of the hassle. To keep the peace and
make watering them easy, I decided to place the plants in the bathroom
and shut the door. Again, I failed to see the flaw in this plan. Of
course the door <span class="hiddenGrammarError">was closed</span> often. How hard is it to forget during the
day? Remembering this small step at 2 am however is difficult for even
the most rested man and woman. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">One night, I hear a
ruckus coming from the living room. Emerging from the bedroom, I found
Charlie, high as a kite, racing around the living room. Immediately, I
knew that she had found her way into the catnip. I made my way to the
bathroom preparing to witness what was surely a massacre. I turned on
the light and was pleasantly surprised to see green leaves gleaming. It
took a few moments to realize that in the middle of all that green there
was one pot, empty except for potting soil.</span><br />
<br />
Charlie
had not only munched on my poor catnip plant, she had completely
devoured it-roots and all. She remained off for almost a week, sometimes
tweaking out at the smallest noises, puffing up her fur and diving
under the nearest piece of furniture for cover. I can only imagine what
she might have heard or seen as she rode out that bad catnip trip.<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">Next
to go was the <span class="hiddenSpellError">basil</span>. As the weather alternated between hot to warm
sunny days and freezing cold nights, I eventually gave up bringing the
plants inside. It was a lot of work for my little pregnant body and I
figured it wouldn't get that cold. Apparently, I was wrong.</span><br />
<br />
Poor
Basil. It didn't stand a chance. The alternating temperature soon
turned the once bright green and healthy plant into a dry, brittle, and
brown stalk.<br />
<br />
Now
all that remains are my 3 and a half plants. I say half because my
lavender has slowly turned brown and brittle. No matter how nice the
weather is or how often I remember to water, it just seems to have given
up hope of living.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">The remaining three; rosemary, sage, and spearmint seem <span class="hiddenGrammarError">to be</span> doing alright.</span><br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vYif6BAttFo/T9Er_gqDUKI/AAAAAAAAAOI/tY6PPEkixyI/s1600/DSC_0069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vYif6BAttFo/T9Er_gqDUKI/AAAAAAAAAOI/tY6PPEkixyI/s320/DSC_0069.JPG" width="214" /></a></div>
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<br />
<br />
I
am hoping that at least one of them makes it. My guess would be the
spearmint as it has thrived under my clumsy and forgetful care.<br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden">Perhaps my future endeavors will go a lot more smoothly than gardening. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="mceItemHidden"><span class="hiddenSpellError">-F</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04120940861984750887noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4036555744028407640.post-47650430939503327632012-05-31T13:51:00.000-05:002012-05-31T13:51:56.752-05:00Welcome to My World<span style="font-size: small;">Welcome! It is the last day of May and I am looking forward to the rest of the summer. For those who don't know me, my name is Faith and I live in North Dakota along with my boyfriend <span style="background-color: white;"></span>and Charlie the cat. At this time, I find myself pregnant with my first child, a boy (or so the ultrasound people told me). Yes, it was a big surprise!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">For the people that know me and for myself the idea of me being pregnant and having a child is shocking. I wouldn't classify myself as patient or nurturing. And I am about as tender as a ton of bricks. So, I have a feeling I won't be your normal mom. With just about 3 and half months to go, I have found myself doing things that I wouldn't normally do like going all gooey over duckies and monkeys or wanting to look at baby clothes. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I won't say that I enjoy being pregnant. As a matter of fact, I can't wait for this part to be over. It may sound completely selfish for me to say, but I feel like my body is my own. I'm not a fan of gaining weight and I still don't like looking at the scale. I think for me that is one of the most difficult parts. When you have worked to lose weight and now it is normal to gain weight, it makes me feel uncomfortable. <span style="background-color: white;">Daddy to be</span> is such a sweetheart and lets me know how beautiful he thinks I am, but some days I still struggle especially the days when I need to step on the scale at the doctor's office. Then I remember that once the baby is here, I can work on getting back in shape and I will have a little one to help grow.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">On a lighter note, I really miss being able to have a margarita or strawberry vodka cocktail in the summer warmth. Sure I can have some lemonade or a non-alcoholic smoothie or icee, but I have always enjoyed relaxing after a long day, sipping a cocktail. That is the one thing I look forward to returning to . Except when the baby gets here in September, you never know what the weather will be here, so I may have to switch to a cold weather beverage.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">So now that you know a lot more about me then your probably wanted to, you might be wondering why I am starting this new blog and why at this moment in time. Well the answer to the second question is quite simple, I have a lot of time on my hands and now that it is summer, I feel like I can devote time to such an endeavor. (Plus I can play around with my photography skills outdoors.) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">As for why I am starting this new blog in the first place, it has a two-fold purpose. I wanted a place to chronicle the exciting recipes, crafts, and other things I am trying out to occupy my time. I also wanted a place to express my feelings about this wacky pregnancy journey. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">So, I hope you will stop in now and then to see what is happening in my little corner of the world. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">-F </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04120940861984750887noreply@blogger.com0North Dakota, USA47.5514926 -101.002011944.808283100000004 -106.0557229 50.2947021 -95.948300899999992